Kraut, Kraut, Everywhere and All the Halls Did Stink

Dear Austrian Grocers and Food Manufacturers,

I'm writing you this letter with regard to cabbage proliferation. While Austria is known for producing high-quality kraut (some of the world's finest) and your farmers should be congratulated for producing such a bountiful harvest of this traditional and hearty crop, I am concerned by the overabundance of this material.

Perhaps you might not have realized cabbage is put in nearly every vegetable product here? I urge you to consider whether or not cabbage should be included as an element in an "Asian vegetables" mix. Furthermore, in many parts of the world it is not widely-regarded to be an essential element in potato salads or green beans.

There is a whole realm of vegetable flavor, pure and delicious, that exists when cabbage is not introduced into these items.

Have you ever considered the way the kitchens and restaurants would benefit if the amount of cabbage put in food was reduced? Unfortunately, cabbage, when warmed, smells distinctly unpleasant. Moreover, given the upturn in global warming that seems to be affecting your alpine summers, I would recommend a long-term policy change in order to to prevent the countryside of your beautiful country from having the aroma of a compost heap.

I humbly submit these suggestions for your review and look forward to your reply.
Most sincerely,

Laura Joost